PAWPAW'S MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 56 - Flexible Flyer Fiasco

PAWPAW'S  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 56

Pawpaw loves Bryson, Connor and Archer!

Flexible Flyer Fiasco

   Growing up in Northeast Ohio, energetic children like me always welcomed fun ways to get through the long, cold winters. Sled riding was a great way to burn excess energy for hours even if the temperature was below freezing which it often was.

   On those cold winter days, every kid in our neighborhood gathered at the two story tall hill behind our house where the trolley used to run. There were a number of good sledding runs but the best one was the one that ran right down the hill toward our house about one hundred yards away. This particular sledding run started off very steeply with a near vertical drop that created a lot of speed on the snow and ice. About three fourths of the way down, the trail hooked to the right at a lone pine tree. In order to make this turn, we sledders needed to lean our weight to the right or use the steering bar on the much wished for Flexible Flyer Sled if we were lucky enough to have one. If we were riding a multi person toboggan where we sat three or four kids to one sled, we all had to lean at the same time!

   The most difficult to control but also the least expensive to buy was the Saucer Sled which looked like a giant dinner plate with handle straps on each side. On the Saucer Sled you never knew if you were going to start spinning uncontrollably on the way down the hill. Luckily, the Saucer Sled was very easy to steer or, if in the case of imminent disaster, very easy to roll off of.

   Some years, I was lucky. I could wear hand me down snow boots from my older brother or sister.  Heavy insulated boots that rise halfway to your knees are a necessity in deep snow. They are the only thing keeping your toes from frost bite. On years when hand me down boots didn’t fit me or my friends, our Moms would pull bread wrappers or plastic bags over our feet and seal them at the top with a couple of rubber bands. We’d have to wear our regular sneakers under the bread wrappers and plastic bags but at least it allowed us the fun of sledding. Walking on frozen water was very difficult in slippery plastic bags though.

   If you have ever enjoyed the holiday classic movie A CHRISTMAS STORY, you know how our parents dressed us for sledding. They dressed us like Randy, the little brother. Remember the scene where Ralphy and Randy’s Mom dressed poor Randy in so many layers of clothes, scarves and coats that he couldn’t even put his arms down? Yep, that’s what we all looked like too. We had so many layers of clothes, scarves, coats, socks, boots and or bread wrappers on that we had no choice but to walk like tiny padded Frankensteins.

   Winter sledding is a strange mixture of several seconds of thrill ride followed by a slipping, sliding, falling workout trying to make it back to the top of the hill while dodging the kids who were coming down on their sleds. I think sledding is a sneaky way that parents use to wear their kids out. It is a lot of fun while also being a lot of work.

   Our sleds were mostly second hand and fairly old sleds that we stored in our basement most of the year.  That all changed one year at Christmas.  My uncle had a very steady job at Hoover Vaccum Company so us kids could always count on special presents from him and our aunt. On that year, I unwrapped a huge bundle and discovered the treasure of all sleds – the Flexible Flyer!

   Imagine of you can, a red metal frame topped with five long wooden boards and, most importantly, a wooden cross bar that allowed the daredevil rider to actually steer the sled with their feet or hands. I had dreamed about this day for a long, long time. If I sat on my bottom, padded by layers of clothing, I would steer my Flexible Flyer with my feet and also by the state of the art loop of rope that was attached to the steering mechanism. Or, if I went complete Evel Knievel, I could lay on my belly with my hands on the steering bar while going down the hill head first!

   I was so excited that, after an acceptable amount of family Christmas time with relatives, I grabbed my prize Flexible Flyer, bundled as quickly as I could in my sledding clothes, hat and gloves and raced off to sledding glory at my favorite sledding run. Picture it if you can. It was Christmas Day. I had the hill all to myself. It was starting to change to dusk so there wasn’t much time to begin my Flexible Flyer adventures before it became too dark to ride. I climbed the virgin snow to the top of the hill. I decided my first ride deserved to be a special one. I would fly down this hill head first on my belly. I knew even at that young age that there is never a second first-time for anything in life.

   Note to Self – always test out brand new equipment when risking one’s life. I mounted my Flexible Flyer. My belly pressed flat against the wooden slats. Nothing between us but what felt like twenty pounds of winter coat and clothes. I grasped the steering bar in my gloved hands, leaned forward and felt butterflies in my stomach as I hurtled head first propelled by gravity, snow and ice. It was all going so very well until I came to where I needed to make a hard right turn to avoid crashing into the pine tree. I pushed as hard as I could with my left arm and hand to make my Flexible Flyer turn right. Nothing happened.

  Uh oh. I quickly learned that brand new Flexible Flyers with sparkling new red paint needed to have the steering mechanism oiled before the daredevil user hurtles recklessly down a hill around a tree. The steering mechanism would not budge. The sled would not turn. WHAM! My Flexible Flyer slammed into the trunk of the pine tree. Soon after, since I was riding head first on my belly, my skull slammed into the trunk of the pine tree. You know how people describe a head injury as seeing stars? That actually happened when my skull collided with the trunk of the pine tree. I saw stars. Then I saw black for several seconds.

   I rolled off my beloved Flexible Flyer into the puffy, cushioning snow. My head hurt. I knew at once that I must keep my crash a secret or I’d never be allowed to sled again. I also knew that I was lucky that the pine tree hadn’t killed me.  Wearing a winter hat had probably given me enough padding to save me.

   When I felt like I could get back on my feet, I stood beside by brand new, Christmas gift Flexible Flyer and found that the collision with the evil pine tree had bent and indented the front end. The beautiful red painted metal bar in the front now was bent in the size and shape of the immovable pine tree.

   I walked back home slowly, deflated in spirit. I dragged my damaged sled behind me. I stashed it at the side of the house where we stored things and faked a happy smile as I opened the door to find my family enjoying continued Christmas festivities never knowing about my Flexible Flyer fiasco.