PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 91 - Traveling to the Canadian Rockies

PAWPAW'S DIARY:  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 91 - Traveling to the Canadian Rockies

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer!

It is Fall of 2024. Our friend Curt (he and his partner Frank used to let you guys swim in their pool and they always bought you Christmas and birthday presents) has always wanted to visit the Canadian Rocky Mountains. As Tom and I looked at videos and photos of them, we decided that we wanted to see them too. So, I mad plans for a ten day trip from Florida to Banff, Alberta, Canada.

I booked us a hotel in Banff Town where we could walk to everything. We had one of the best vacations ever. The glacier-made Rocky Mountains are huge and surround this little town. The snow and ice from the mountains creates rivers and lakes that have beautiful turquoise water. 

We visited Lake Louise, Moraine Lake, and the Johnston Canyon waterfalls. We rode a gondola 7500 feet to the top of a mountain.

Tom took a photo of me holding an elk antler. A huge elk walked down the road beside our vehicle. At another place, a herd of mountain goats blocked the road. One day we came out of our hotel and three deer walked past us and crossed the street right in front of us.

Banff is a beautiful place. I wish you could have been there with us. I miss you guys.

I will love you forever,

Pawpaw

(Please remember - I did not abandon you. I would never leave you willingly. When your parents became attached to their new religion and became extremely political, they disowned Tom and me. We were no longer welcome to visit, call, text or even send birthday and Christmas gifts.)

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 90 - HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY BRYSON

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 90 - HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY BRYSON

Happy 9th Birthday Bryson! I am so proud of you and always will be. I cannot put into words how happy it makes me to be your Pawpaw. I miss you and will love you forever.

Someday when you are 18 years old or older, I hope that you will search for me. I have never stopped loving you even if I am not allowed to see you.

All my love,

Pawpaw

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 88 - Miss you

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 88

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer!

Happy belated12th birthday Connor. 

I searched the internet and found a few photos of you all. You have grown so much! You are so very handsome! You all look very happy. Seeing that makes me very happy too. At the same time, I am heartbroken that I have missed so much of your childhoods. I think about you every day.

I love you,

Pawpaw

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 87 - See You Later song about family heritage and beliefs

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 87

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer!

Since you probably won't be allowed to see me until you may choose to do so after age 18, there's a good chance I won't be alive then. I leave these messages to let you know that you were loved and missed every single day. I have loved you both since the days that you were born and I held you in my arms. (I only was able to hold Archer once and only for about an hour).

I have decided to record my songs and leave them on Youtube for you to hopefully find someday and know your Pawpaw better.

My song SEE YOU LATER is one of my favorite songs that I have written. It is about my Grandma Virginia Margaret Wheatley McWilliams. She was your maternal Great grandmother. 

Grandma Mac was what we all called her. She was of Appalachian heritage and Scottish before that. Her Fourth Great Grandfather Abraham came from Scotland to Pennsylvania before the American Revolution! His son Samuel fought in the revolution for American independence. Even though she was from a northern state, Grandma had a country / southern accent as Appalachians do. 

Grandma never said goodbye. She always said "Sweetie, this is not goodbye, it's just another see you later." I wrote this song for her.

Pawpaw will always love you boys!

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 86 - love song

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 86

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer!

Since you probably won't be allowed to see me until you may choose to do so after age 18, there's a good chance I won't be alive then. I leave these messages to let you know that you were loved and missed every single day. I have loved you both since the days that you were born and I held you in my arms. (I only was able to hold Archer once and only for about an hour).

I have decided to record my songs and leave them on Youtube for you to hopefully find someday and know your Pawpaw better.

My song THINKING OF YOU SLOW DANCE is a love song that I composed I was just 20 years old. I hope that people in love will hear it and take their partner into their arms and share a special moment together.

Pawpaw will always love you all!

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 85 - Pawpaw music

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 85

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer!

Since you probably won't be allowed to see me until you may choose to do so after age 18, there's a good chance I won't be alive then. I leave these messages to let you know that you were loved and missed every single day. I have loved you both since the days that you were born and I held you in my arms. (I only was able to hold Archer once and only for about an hour).

I have decided to record my songs and leave them on Youtube for you to hopefully find someday and know your Pawpaw better.

I wrote CHOOSE ME about the feeling every human has - the desire to fit in. It took me decades to realize that loving ourselves is a big part of being healthy.

Pawpaw will always love you guys.

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 62 - Seeing The Future

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS

Pawpaw loves Bryson, Connor, and Archer!

Seeing The Future

 

   When I was a child and until I was married, I sometimes had visions of future events. It was never anything life-changing or history-making. It was just minor events of no importance that I ever determined.

   I asked my Mom about it and she told me that she and her Mother, my Grandma McWilliams, also had these visions. (Years later, when I was a father myself, your Mom came to me and asked me about them because she was having the visions herself.)

   This is how it would happen: I would be doing normal things and going about my normal day when I would feel chills across my body. My skin would get goose-bumps. Suddenly, I would begin to see a full-color movie in my mind. I would see events happening as if I was seeing it through my eyes. But – it was something that had not happened yet.

   For instance, one day I got that special chill feeling and had a vision of myself running down Main Street in my childhood hometown. In my vision, I was running away from downtown and downhill toward the railroad tracks. In my hand was a camera. It was a model of camera that my parents did not own.

   Months later, our town held its parade. My sister Susie was walking in the parade. For some reason, my parents could not attend. It was most likely a health issue. So, they sent me to take their new camera to the parade route and take some photos of my little sister. I did. Then, I began to jog down Main Street back home. I felt that strange chill feeling again and I stopped running. Everything was the same as it had been in my weird vision months before. I was running in the same spot, seeing the same scene and holding my parents new camera that they didn’t own when I’d had that vision.

   This kind of vision of future events happened to me quite often in my childhood and teen years. For some reason, the visions stopped when I was in my twenties. As I said earlier, my Mom told me that both she and her Mom had the same visions. And my own daughter Steffany had them in her childhood.

   I write this in the hope that anyone reading this who may also have similar dreams may find peace and know that you are not alone. There are many of us who have experienced the supernatural. I don’t know how or why these visions happened. I don’t know why I couldn’t control them or use them for anything important. I don’t know why they stopped happening when I was in my twenties. I just know that at least four generations of my family experienced them.

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 53 - Ice Skating On Constitution Pond

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS

Pawpaw loves, Bryson, Connor and Archer!

Ice Skating On Constitution Pond 

   Winters in northern Ohio can be brutal. The temperature where water freezes is thirty-two degrees.  In an Ohio Winter, you can go for weeks without the temperature rising to thirty-two. On the bright side, when it is cold enough for water to freeze, we could ice skate.

   Down in our underground basement, we had a box of ice skates of various sizes. My older brother Skip’s ice skates were black. My sister Sherry’s ice skates were a pretty, girly white. All the girls had whole ice skates. My ice skates were black like my brother’s skates.

   Once you get the hang of balancing on two thin silver blades, the most difficult part of ice skating is putting the darn things on! You can’t put them on at home and walk anywhere on the blades so you must wear snow boots to the ice, take off your boots and put on your skates without getting your feet wet with snow. Ice skates require a lot of support so there are laces that rise high above your ankle. After swapping out your boots while trying not to get any snow on your socks, you still have to slip into the ice skates and tighten row after row of laces and finally tying them. If the laces are very long ones, we’d wrap them around the top of the skates several times up by our calf.

   We were lucky that  we lived in West Main Street about two blocks from Dairy Queen because behind the ice cream vendor was Constitution Park which had swings, a pavillion and most importantly a pond. In Summers, we fished in the pond. In Winters, we ice skated as soon as it froze over. It seemed like everyone ice skated back then. The pond was usually filled with skaters of all ages from little children skating as they held the hand of a parent, to elementary students, to teens to parents and grandparents.

   A fifty-five gallon barrel was filled with firewood. Once the firewood was on fire, it provided everyone with a place to warm up when we got too cold. It was also a great place to talk while we stood in a circle around the barrel holding our hands  close to the flames for warmth. Some times, we even brought a thermos filled with hot cocoafor a warming drink. I always thought that skating with all the community, family and friends was especially magical at twilight for some reason.

   On days when the adults were at work and we didn’t have school to attend, us kids would practice skating as fast as we could. Or we’d practice jumping and landing. My older brother and sister could easily switch from skating forward to skating backwards. My brother and the big boys played ice hockey there too.

   During the long, cold, gray northern Ohio Winters, ice skating was another way to have fun. I miss it. I miss the camaraderie of neighbors of all ages enjoying something fun together. I miss the smiles. I miss the conversations around the fire barrel. I miss it all.

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 52 - How To Manipulate Your Teacher And Become A Star

PAWPAW'S DIARY:  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS

Pawpaw loves Bryson, Connor and Archer!

The Little Drummer Boy or How To Manipulate Your Teacher And Become A Star

 

   Now that I am an adult who has spent a good portion of my teen and adult life onstage as a musician, singer/songwriter and on a stage of sorts as a minister, perhaps this story reveals that I was destined to be there.

   At the time that I went to elementary school, there was a thing called Show And Tell. Students were invited to bring a special toy or something to school and tell the teacher and other students about it. I was in first grade. One day, I overheard my teacher and another teacher talking between themselves about the upcoming Christmas Holiday Pageant. They were discussing the many things they would need to accomplish it. As soon as they mentioned that they would need a Little Drummer Boy playing a drum while the rest of the class sang the drummer boy song, I formulated a plan. I would be so sneaky that the teachers would never know that they had been manipulated by an adorable first grader.

   Mom and my grandmother took me shopping with them in downtown Canton, Ohio. At the time, downtown Canton was a magical place. As we walked down the sidewalk, we visited retail stores like McCrory’s Five And Dime. We passed by several very fancy movie theaters. We passed by the park between the North and South lanes of the street which was seating in the Summer and a skating rink in the Winter. We always visited the huge public library where I could spend hours browsing the children’s section. 

   I waited for just the right moment. When I thought my Mom and Grandma were ripe for manipulation, I mentioned that I needed a toy drum for school so that I could be in the annual Christmas Pageant. In no time at all, we were entering McCrory’s looking for a toy drum. We found one and Mom and Grandma bought it for me. It was beautiful. It had a long strap attached to each side. When I looped the strap behind my neck, my drum hung right at my waistline. And the drum came with real drum sticks!

   Now all I had to do was wait for Show And Tell. As soon as one was scheduled by my teacher, I brought my new toy drum to school. When the teacher called my name for my turn to Show And Tell, I conjured up my most innocent angel face, put the drum strap around my neck, held a drum stick in each hand and walked to the blackboard at the front of my class.

   I turned to face my teacher and my fellow students and explained most angelically and innocently how my Mom and Grandma had miraculously purchased me the toy drum that I had always dreamed of. My creativity was flowing marvelously.  After my brilliant oration that was probably worthy of an Academy Award or at least a Tony, I began to tap my drum with my drumsticks. Bum. Bum. Bum, bum, bum.  Bum. Bum. Bum, bum, bum.

   My classmates clapped but we always clapped for whomever was Show And Telling. The magical moment happened when my teacher said, “Steven, this is perfect! We just happen to need a Little Drummer Boy for the Annual Christmas Pageant!” And voila! I was the Little Drummer Boy.

   When the event actually happened, I bravely walked out in front of my classmates. I faced the brown, wooden bleachers filled with the expectant faces of parents, grandparents and assorted siblings. And I played “Bum. Bum. Bum, bum, bum.  Bum. Bum. Bum, bum, bum,” on my toy drum as my class sang the Little Drummer Boy song – just as I had planned!

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 50- Love of reading

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer! 

Do you guys like to read? I used to love to read to you Connor and Bryson. I always looked for books to buy for you as gifts and bring them when I visited. In addition to Christmas toys, I liked to buy you books too for Christmas. Toys and books are a perfect combination.

I am a voracious reader. I have been since childhood. Books, whether fiction of nonfiction, have allowed me to spend my life traveling around the world, across the galaxy, through time both past, present and imagined future, and deeply into the minds of storytellers of all ages, races, genders and backgrounds. Storytellers are humanity’s memory and sharers of creativity.

I think about you every day. If there is ever a gap in my writing messages to you, it's is either because I have had another batch of surgeries and medical crises. I am glad that you guys are all so healthy and strong. I was until age 43. I guess other times I don't write is because I sometimes get very sad when I think about you. I miss you.

Love you,

Pawpaw

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 41 - Pawpaw in a biker bar

PAWPAW'S DIARY: MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 41

Pawpaw loves Connor!

Pawpaw loves Bryson!

Pawpaw loves Archer!

As a singer/songwriter, I have performed in many different and sometimes odd venues from a one-room schoolhouse to churches to schools to theaters to television to radio to coffe-houses to restaurants to festivals and more.

One of the zaniest happened in Akron, Ohio. I was approached by a biker wearing his club leather and colors. He had long hair and a long beard and huge arm muscles. He explained that he was a club member and he owned a biker bar. BUT, he had recently come to follow God and had turned his biker bar into a biker coffe-house. No more alcohol! He asked me to come sing in his biker no-alcohol bar. I did!

Singing Jesus-music to a bunch of bikers deprived of alcohol turned out to be a blast. It probably helped that I looked like them at the time. Step outside your comfort zone. It may be a blast! Hugs, Pawpaw