Virginia Margaret McWilliams - Gone But Not Forgotten by Steven Skelley

Virginia Margaret McWilliams - Gone But Not Forgotten
Eulogy by Rev. Steven Skelley

One day I walked past a large stone monument. Engraved on the side were the words, "Gone but not forgotten."

Reading that inscription, I thought to myself, "How sad it would be to have lived your life only to be forgotten by those who once knew you."

Or, "How sad it would be to be remembered, but only remembered for all the wrong reasons."

There are some people, though, that don't fit into either of those categories. They may be gone but they are not forgotten. We remember them, not because of some unforgivable wrong but because they did so much right.

Today, we are here to honor one such person. I want to welcome you on behalf of the friends and family of Virginia Margaret McWilliams. Your presence here shows your love and respect for the one we all called Grandma Mac.

I thank you all for coming out to honor and pay your respects, to comfort the family and friends and even to receive comfort knowing that Grandma Mac has left us - - - for now.

The Bible reminds us that life is like a vapor. It is like a wisp of steam that "is" and then quickly evaporates. But - - - this is not the end.

You see, our bodies are temporary but our Spirits (our Souls) are eternal. They are forever.

On November 18, after 81 good years here with us, Grandma Mac passed on from this life. She will be greatly missed by family and friends. We were all bettered because of the time she was allowed to spend with us.

Let us choose to remember the good times.

Virginia Margaret McWilliams raised some of us.

She babysat some of us.

She befriended some of us.

And in my case, she even paddled some of us! I am both amused and honored to know that, in her 81 years, I was the only child this person who didn't believe in spanking ever spanked. It was only once and I was wearing a large, padded diaper at the time, she said. She also said that I definitely deserved it!

Grandma Mac was someone who could make us feel at home even if we weren't at home. I am sure we will all remember that when it was time to leave, if we made the mistake of saying, "Goodbye," she would always correct us and remind us that, "This isn't goodbye. It's just a See-You-Later." And then she would give us her wonderful hugs and kisses.

Virginia Margaret McWilliams is gone.

For now.

But not forever.

We take comfort in knowing that this wasn't the end. It was merely a change of address.

As we leave here today, let us honor Virginia Margaret McWilliams (Grandma Mac) by remembering her words, "This isn't goodbye! It's just another See-You-Later!"

We'll see you later, Grandma Mac.


****Steven Skelley is a published author of several nonfiction works and the novella The Gargoyle Scrolls. He has been a newspaper columnist, travel writer, news writer, ordained minister, music director, creative arts director, theater reviewer and tennis instructor.

MEMORIES OF MY MOM by Steven Skelley

MEMORIES OF MY MOM

by Steven Skelley

My mother’s name was Sherill May McWilliams (Skelley) but I called her Mom.

Mom was very beautiful as a teen and twenty-something. I always thought she looked like Lucille Ball when she was young. She looked like an old-fashioned movie star.

I’ve seen photos of her as a teen wearing a sleeveless, fitted dress blouse, Capri pants and sunglasses. She was young, fit, thin and beautiful.

When I close my eyes and try to picture her as an adult, I remember her wearing pant suits with coordinated slacks and tops or sundresses with floppy movie-star hats and sunglasses.

Mom liked to dye her hair red or light reddish brown. She wore red finger nail polish and lipstick. This made me think of her even more like the young and beautiful Lucille Ball.

If I close my eyes, I can picture Mom right now, about 35 years old on a summer day, wearing a scarf on her head and sunglasses on her eyes, somehow also looking like Jacqueline Kennedy in the 1960s. I can see Mom smile as she looks over Atwood Lake while a breeze ruffles the hair that sticks out under the edges of her scarf.

She had a great smile as well as a slight country accent from growing up in a town named Barnesville.

Mom and Grandma McWilliams (her Mom)

Mom and Grandma Mc (Virginia Margaret McWilliams) were mother and daughter but they were also best pals. They laughed constantly when they were together no matter what they were doing. It was great seeing them having fun together and loving each other so much.

Mom and Grandma Mc were probably the ones most responsible for my love of reading. We would walk from Grandma and Grandpa Mc’s house to downtown Canton. We’d visit the library and the used book store. They’d let me sit and read and get out as many books as I wanted.

We’d continue our downtown walks by window-shopping in the stores like Kresge’s, Woolworth’s and McCrory’s. Sometimes we would have lunch at the store lunch counter.

I have very pleasant memories of those walks, especially at Christmas time when all the city decorations and lights were up, the stores’ front windows were all decorated with shining Christmas trees and enticing gifts, and people were ice skating in the square as Christmas music played in the background.

When we were little, Mom and Grandma Mc liked to take us (Skip, Sherry, Susie and me) to Mother Goose Land. It was a small, themed park at the end of the Canton Park system, not far from the McKinley Monument. The admission was 25 cents if I remember correctly. The entrance looked like a castle.

Mom and Grandma Mc would let us play on the playground and then walk us through the life-sized story-themed prop displays like Wizard of Oz, Ali Babba’s Treasure Cave, Jonah’s Whale, etc. There was also a petting zoo and a set for the Three Little Pigs complete with a wooden wolf, a three pig homes and three live pigs! (Pigs are stinky, by the way )

Sometimes, if there was any spare cash, we each got a marshmallow ice cream cone that probably cost a nickel or dime.

Mom and Grandma would also take us to the McKinley Monument and have us walk the stairs to the top and then turn and enjoy the view. They also let us play and roll down the grassy hillside to the bottom and sled ride there in the winter, ice skate in the frozen pond and warm our hands by the wood fires people made in 50 gallon barrels.

Mom loved visiting Barnesville, Ohio where she was born. She loved visiting relatives there and attending the annual Pumpkin Festival.

Grandma Mc told us that Mom was born on the kitchen table back in the days when doctors made house calls. How things change from one generation to the next!

I don’t remember Mom having a full-time job during most of my childhood but I do seem to remember her working part-time with Grandma McWilliams as a cleaning lady in an office building in downtown Canton, Ohio across from the 200 year old Church of the Savior United Methodist Church (where I would eventually work on-staff as Contemporary Music Director).

Mom and Grandma Mc cleaned the offices in the evenings after the doctors and business people left. I remember Grandma saying she was often stuck by syringe needles when she emptied trash cans. It was before there were controls over medical waste.

One of my funniest memories of Mom and Grandma Mc was when a nightclub opened for women only. It was called the Regal Beagle, if I remember correctly. The club had male exotic dancers like the Chippendales! Women would line up down the sidewalk for a block waiting to get in. One day I was walking to a friend’s house when I saw Mom and Grandma Mc, grinning from ear to ear, right in line with all the other women waiting to see the half-naked male stripper dancers!! Go Mom and Grandma Mc! Good for you!! I love that memory.

Hugs, Music and The Wizard of Oz

Mom was very tactile and very loving. She loved to hug and kiss her children on the cheek. We’d all giggle when she left a big lipstick kiss-mark on our cheeks.

If I sat with her on the sofa or swing, she would hum or sing while she’d gently rub my arm, back or head so softly it almost put me to sleep.

Getting up on the cold, Ohio winter mornings for school, no matter how grumpy I was that morning, Mom always walked me to the door and sent me off to school with her wonderful smile and the words, “Honey (or Stevie)….have a great day.” 

I am sure she knew school wasn’t going to be a lot of fun for poorer kids like us so she tried to start off the day on a positive note. I appreciate that a lot more now than I did then I suppose.

Mom loved listening to music and singing along. She had a record player in the dining room and played records by Elvis and Judy Garland. She also had records of the soundtracks from The Wizard of Oz and West Side Story. Whenever we were in the car, Mom would turn on the AM radio and we would all sing along to the songs together.

Back before there were videos and DVDs, the television broadcasters would air The Wizard of Oz once a year. It was a big deal. Mom always gathered us all together, made inexpensive Chef Boyardee pizza or even less expensive popcorn and we all watched  The Wizard of Oz together. It was great family time.

Mom was poor almost all of her life though there were several better years when Dad was working union wage factory jobs and we could make ends meet and even have some fun.

Mom was hospitalized numerous times and had more than her share of operations. Dad told me that Mom had as many miscarriages as children. I don't know if he was exaggerating. 

Eventually she would be overcome by pain and the hardships of life and she would unsuccessfully attempt suicide. Having had more than a dozen surgeries myself and having suffered decades of pain, I understand how she could become overcome and just want to end the pain. She wasn't weak. 

Mom passed away at age 45 - too young. The coroner did an autopsy and ruled it an accidental overdose of prescription medicines.

Mom was buried in Barnesville, Ohio next to her best pal, her Mom – Grandma Mc.

She deserved a better life than she got.

In spite of it all, she had a great smile, a great hug, and when she was happy, it was infectious.

That’s how I choose to remember her…in those happier times.

She died a year before my daughter Steffany was born. 

Mom would have loved Steffany. They are so much alike with their ability to smile, laugh and reach out to others with love. 

They would have been pals.

I can just imagine all the mischief, love and laughter they would have shared together. I am sorry they never met.

I hope that my daughter and I carry on that same loving spirit that embodied the lives of Mom and Grandma Mc.

I wrote a song that was inspired by my mother and my daughter. It is "Thank You God For Making Moms."

You can see a youtube video of  "Thank You God For Making Moms" at - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xW0d7JFm-X0

You can purchase a download of  "Thank You God For Making Moms"  at - http://www.amazon.com/Thank-You-God-Making-Moms/dp/B0083VCDX0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339539968&sr=8-1&keywords=thank+you+god+for+making+moms

****Steven Skelley is a published author of several nonfiction works and the novella The Gargoyle Scrolls. He has been a newspaper columnist, travel writer, news writer, ordained minister, music director, creative arts director, theater reviewer and tennis instructor.