PAWPAW'S MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 73 - Happy 11th Birthday Connor!

PAWPAW'S  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 73 - Happy 11th Birthday Connor!

To my beloved grandson Connor Rudolph. Today is your eleventh birthday. Happy Birthday my sweet buddy-pal. I wish I was there to give you and big hug and a kiss. Of course, I'd have some wonderful gifts for you too. I delight in buying you whatever your heart desires.

It breaks my heart that I'm not allowed to see you or talk with you. Please know that I did not leave or abandon you. When your parents joined that church in Englewood, everything changed. They disowned me and my husband Tom. They disowned all of our mutual friends and even our family members. We are all heartbroken to have lost you all. I am heartbroken. I texted your Mom to ask if I could send gifts this year but she refused to answer me again. It's been three years since I have held you in my arms, since we have played together on the trampoline, since we have played games and toys together.

I've been thinking about you for days as your birthday drew nearer. When you were allowed and were younger, you would call me on the phone. Sometimes you called 10 times a day. I loved talking with you. I have some phone messages that you left me on voicemail. I recorded them and listen to them just top hear your voice.

I hope I live long enough to see you face to face again. If you find these messages when you are an adult, please reach out and try to find me. Your Pawpaw loves you. There's nothing I want more than to see you and Bryson again.

You are loved, Connor. I will always love you.

Pawpaw

PAWPAW'S MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 72 - Tricked By The Ladies Church group

PAWPAW'S  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 72 - Tricked By The Church Ladies 

Pawpaw loves Connor!

Pawpaw loves Bryson!

Pawpaw loves Archer!

TRUE STORY
I was a minister on staff at a Florida church. A retired senior Ladies Group asked me to bus them to another city and back. They suggested that I pack a swimsuit and towel so I could enjoy the nearby beach while they were at their meeting. As I dropped them off, they giggled as they told me to enjoy my time at the beach. As it turns out, the beach nearest the church they were visiting is a nude beach. At church on Sunday, one of them made a special announcement in front of the whole congregation thanking me for driving them. She looked at me and said they hoped I enjoyed my beach time. They thought they were sending to the nude beach as a surprise. What they didn't know is that I went there regularly. I let them think they had pulled a prank on me.

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I create these Messages To My Grandsons because I want you to know your Pawpaw as you did when you were little children. I want you to know that I did not abandon you. I spent at least a week every month with you until your parents ended our relationship. Always know that Pawpaw didn't leave you. I was banned from seeing you in 2020. I hope you find these messages when you are a grown man. If I'm still alive, I would love to see you again.

I would never leave you, my loves.

Pawpaw

PAWPAW'S MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 71 - Your Voices Recorded

PAWPAW'S  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 71

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Dear Connor and Dear Bryson,

  Some of the happiest moments of each day were the moments when my phone would ring. You two would phone me at least once a day just to talk. One day, you even called me twelve times. I loved it.

  Sometimes you guys would sneak your Mom's phone without her knowing and call me. I would laugh out loud as I'd hear your Mom chasing you around the house trying to get her phone back. 

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Always know that Pawpaw didn't leave you. I was banned from seeing you in 2020. I hope you find these messages when you are a grown man. If I'm still alive, I would love to see you again.

I create these Messages To My Grandsons because I want you to know your Pawpaw as you did when you were little children. I want you to know that I did not abandon you. I spent at least a week every month with you until your parents ended our relationship.

I would never leave you, my loves.

Pawpaw

Pawpaw loves Connor!

Pawpaw loves Bryson!

Pawpaw loves Archer!

PAWPAW'S MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 70 - The Sacred Band of Thebes

PAWPAW'S  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 70 

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer!

I miss you guys so much. I hope you find these messages some day. I want you to know that I love you. I never left you. I was no longer allowed to visit you. I hope these messages help you know your Pawpaw and your family better. All my love forever, Pawpaw

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I have been thinking about writing an ode about The Sacred Band. Prior to Christianity, in the Greek era, the Greeks were divided by city states. They united against foes but fought between themselves often too.

Everyone knows of the mighty Spartan warriors who have always been referred to as the mightiest of Greek warriors. You may have seen the movie THE 300.

It has finally been confirmed that the city state of Thebes had a world renowned army called The Sacred Band of Thebes. It was an elite special forces unit of 150 gay couples! In this era, homosexuality and bisexuality were as normal as heterosexuality.

The Sacred Band of Thebes faced off against the invading Spartans and the gays kicked their asses and sent them retreating back to Sparta. Later Phillip of Macedonia (Alexander the Great's father) invaded with an army or tens of thousands. The Sacred Band was outnumbered and slaughtered BUT Phillip remarked that they were the bravest fighters he had ever encountered and he built a monument to them (his enemies) to show his respect. He even had them buried with their armor and weapons. This was unheard of. Weapons were always taken. He even had them buried with their lovers, side by side and sometimes holding hands.

Why don't we know about this? Because Muslims and Christians had the monument torn down and buried because it promoted homosexuality. Later, archaeologists literally erased written records of The Sacred Band or skipped over them in history records.

Luckily, an archaeologist with integrity found the burial site and the monument. he photographed the lovers buried with their weapons holding hands in addition to often-hidden written historical documents verified the truth of The Sacred Band.

So, I want to write The Ode of the Sacred Band.

Hugs,

Pawpaw

Another reason this is important to me is because Pawpaw has many friends who were drafted into the US military and served heroically. Like me, they were gay. Some were bisexual. Because of bigoted laws at the time, they would have been prosecuted, jailed or worse if anyone discovered their sexuality. Some of the bravest men I know in the military were the gay and bisexuals who served.

And here is my poem put to lyrics...

PAWPAW'S MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 69 - Highway Gas Tank Puncture

PAWPAW'S  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 69 - Highway Gas Tank Puncture

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer!

I miss you guys so much. I hope you find these messages some day. I want you to know that I love you. I never left you. I was no longer allowed to visit you. I hope these messages help you know your Pawpaw and your family better. All my love forever, Pawpaw

Highway Gas Tank Puncture

   In Ohio, we could get our driver’s licenses at age sixteen. I was born on January 12 and my best friend Scott was born on June 12.  We both earned our driver’s licenses in 1979. Scott and I both loved playing tennis and watching professional tennis. Scott’s awesome Dad agreed to let Scott borrow his car so that Scott could drive the two of us three hours south to Columbus, Ohio to attend a professional tennis tournament. This was a big deal!

   We were having a fantastic time driving down the highway and feeling like adults. Suddenly the car in front of us swerved violently. Before we could do anything, Scott and I both saw an entire car exhaust system skidding down the highway toward Scott’s Dad’s car. Scott did a good job of controlling the car as the junk exhaust system went under the car. There was a lot of loud grinding and banging noises before it came out the back end of the car.

   I smelled something odd. Scott looked over at me at the same time that I looked over at him. We both smelled gasoline. Scott looked at the instrument panel and said, “Look at the gas gauge!” I looked over and saw the needle on the gas gauge rapidly dropping from nearly full toward empty.

   Even though there was a lot of traffic on the highway, Scott was able to coast the car off to the berm. We both got out of the car and walked quickly to the back of the car where the last of the gasoline was pouring out onto the hot asphalt. We both crawled under the car. We found a hole in the gas tank that was as big as a baseball. The exhaust pipe we had hit had poked a huge hole in the full gas tank.

   Back in 1979, cell phones had not been invented. We were far from home in a disabled car. Scott and I saw a farmhouse across the highway and across a field. We walked to it and asked if Scott could call his Dad about the broken car. About two hours later, Scott’s Dad arrived. He had called a tow truck too. The tow truck towed the car to a nearby garage where the mechanics began to search for a gas tank to install. Scott’s awesome Dad paid for everything. The mechanic said that he was shocked that the gas tank hadn’t exploded when the exhaust had smashed through it.

   After most of the day at the garage, the car was repaired. We expected Scott’s Dad to tell us to follow him home but he didn’t. He said that he was sorry that we had missed all the fun at our tennis tournament and told us to go ahead and catch the final few hours of the tournament. He wasn’t angry about the crash at all. He said that he was just happy that neither of us had been hurt.

   We were two very lucky sixteen year olds. Scott had managed to control the car at highway speed as we were hit by a huge piece of metal. The gas had not ignited when the exhaust had slammed through the gas tank. And Scott’s Dad was just what both all needed. He was kind and helpful and showed us how to be a good father.

PAWPAW'S MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 68 - Connor and Bryson in a fish tank!

PAWPAW'S  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 68 - Connor and Bryson in a fish tank!

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer!

I miss you guys so much. I hope you find these messages some day. I want you to know that I love you. I never left you. I was no longer allowed to visit you. I hope these messages help you know your Pawpaw and your family better. All my love forever, Pawpaw

This photo makes me smile every time I see it. You two came to visit me and Tom. We took you to Cocoa Beach and visited the surf shops. One of them had a huge aquarium. You two crawled into the a tunnel leading to a viewing port for kids inside the fish tank! Being your Pawpaw was a highlight of my life.

PAWPAW'S MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS 67 - What I Did This Summer or Falling Off A Cliff

PAWPAW'S  MESSAGES TO MY GRANDSONS

Pawpaw loves Connor, Bryson and Archer!

I miss you guys so much. I hope you find these messages some day. I want you to know that I love you. I never left you. I was no longer allowed to visit you. I hope these messages help you know your Pawpaw and your family better. All my love forever, Pawpaw

What I Did This Summer

or Falling Off A Cliff 

   I had gone to Nelson Kennedy Ledges Park with some friends and one of their dads for a day of hiking. Historians believe that glaciers deposited the huge boulders here. Some are three stories tall. Others are stacked so hikers can squeeze under them or walk on top of them. I ended up on a ledge separate from the friend’s dad who called to us to come to him. I took a few steps and jumped across the cliff. I made it to the other side but landed on some wet green slippery moss on the rock. I slipped and started to fall backwards off the cliff.

   I reached out with my hand to grab a rock but it ripped a two inch gash just below my thumb. I fell. The guys I was with told me that it was 15 to 20 feet. I don’t know how high. I was unconscious most of the time. I ended up in a cave with serious head injuries, slipping in and out of consciousness for days. The guys I was with say that I stopped breathing a few times in that cave. It’s all a blur to me. I remember waking up in the cave in incredible pain and disorientation. My brain didn’t work right. I couldn’t focus my eyes or my thoughts. It was a terrible feeling.

   I remember waking up again in the ambulance and the paramedics talking to me but I couldn’t get my brain to work to respond back to them. Then I passed out again. At one point the medics asked me to try to pee in a container so they could check for internal bleeding. It was frightening for me to find that I could not make my arms and hands work to do it. They would not respond. The medic finally held my weiner as I tried to pee. I don’t know if I did. I passed out again.

   I awoke again in the hospital emergency room as they were just starting to sew stitches into my hand. They were not using any pain medication. Wow. That needle hurt. I couldn’t think sensibly with my head injury and I tried to fight off the doctor who was sewing my hand so they held me down until he finished sewing me up. My cheekbone had broken loose and was down closer to my jaw. My upper eye socket had fractured too. After they wired my cheekbone back in place, I had stitches in my hand, under my left eye and along my eyebrow. I still have the wire in my face. I see it when I get x-rays. I was hospitalized for eleven days. I missed almost the entire first month of my senior year of high school.

   I have never jumped off a cliff since. Hopefully I am a little smarter now? Probably not.

This is me a while after surgery. You can see my left eye is swollen.